It’s All About Change…

I have to change my ways. It’s true. At one time I was a much healthier person than I am now. I walked almost every day, worked out at the gym, swam, watched my diet, and overall, really took care of myself. But at the age of thirty, depression set in, and it all began to change, gradually at first but then a progressive downhill slope towards obesity, fatigue, sleep issues, diabetes, and other health problems.

And now… in the past two weeks, I’ve had two EKGs, xrays, bloodwork, a heart echo, and I had to wear a heart monitor for twenty-four hours, all which have been faxed ahead to set up an appointment with a big city cardiologist. And on top of everything else, yesterday I was asked to pick up and take the films from my three mammograms and my breast ultrasound to a breast specialist in another town, who wants to review them immediately, not good news for me…

So.. I have to change my ways… Immediately… No more waiting until tomorrow… No more putting everything and everybody ahead of myself… No more stress eating…  If I want to feel better and live a longer life, I have to start taking care of myself… NOW…

So here are my goals:

  • Eat healthier
  • Lose weight
  • Exercise
  • Eventually get off insulin
  • Eventually get off blood pressure meds
  • Don’t worry. Be happy.

Meanwhile, I’m praying for good news, and my phone ringer is on while I wait for the doctors to call today…

So how’s that for a Fall Break?

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Love, Loss, and Dealing With Change…

It’s been a long time since I’ve logged in or written anything here, and now that I’m here, I really don’t know where to begin. Much has changed since my last post. I’m blessed to be a grandmother now with two little girls and a boy who light up my life with love, joy, peace, and hope for the future. We are very actively involved in their lives as my husband babysits them five days a week, and they enjoy spending the night at our house often.

Yet in spite of the joy that grandparenting brings, the reality is I have experienced more than a fair share of heartache and loss over the past few years, and I have been forced to learn to deal with it. Some of the loss is the kind we expect. Friends and acquaintances move forward and leave to pursue new career opportunities. Friends divorce, and one or the other decides to leave our circle of friends. Older people grow even older and pass away.

But then there are those unexpected and sometimes unexplainable losses that take us by surprise and leave us devastated and in shock. This kind of loss has the power to interrupt our lives and leave us at a standstill. This kind of loss colors our perception of the world around us. This of loss changes us. This kind of loss makes us question everything we think we know.

To be revised and continued . . .

 

 

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Too often…

So we make our choices

When there is no choice

And we listen to their voices

Ignoring our own voice…

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Miracles

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Burning House…

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A guilty pleasure…

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Poison and Wine…

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